"I am guiding you in the way of wisdom, and I am leading you on the right path." proverbs 4:11

things provided: enjoying myself (or: growing ok with the person that is me)

Written by:admin
Published on October 17th, 2013 @ 10:53:00 pm , using 434 words, 844 views


sitting here at Panera.

everyone else brought their laptop.

i brought a plant.

i carried the plant in with me while i placed my order.  balanced the plant and my order while i chose a table.  of course i chose a table right up front so that i am sure to be seen by the friend that i think i will be meeting.  (i feel like the 3yr. old who brought a frying pan to class.  i?d heard of blankets and stuffed animals, but never a frying pan.)

ha ha ha.

this is me.

i?m the one who forgot her phone when driving 2 hours to a place i didn?t know for my daughter?s cross country meet-so when i was lost i couldn?t call anyone and had to figure it all out by myself the old fashioned way.  arriving with 10 minutes to spare (ok, maybe 5), i rejoiced that i made it to see the beginning of the race and i did remember the camera and i took some awesome pictures.  but alas, discovered that there was not a card in the camera so all those pictures are somewhere out in space.  (why is there no flashing warning ?no card, no card, silly put in the card??)  which reminds me of the time in Alaska as a teen out on a fishing trip in the most beautiful scenery i?ve ever seen.  i took a whole roll of film-a 36 roll even-only to discover that i had forgotten to put the film into the camera. aarrggg.

but i digress.

so here i sit right in front where everyone can see me with my plant.  (i won?t mention (except that i am mentioning it)  that i?ve got a winter hat on and am still in the shirt i slept in because there was no time to shower and it was cold and i like this shirt.  at least i put real pants on. )

but you see, it?s not this morning that we planned to meet.  actually i?m 2 weeks early.  i remember when we scheduled that she mentioned something about it also being halloween, but i forgot that and just remembered the Thursday part. 

but at the last minute i grabbed my Bible (score!) , so i will sit here and eat my breakfast and pretend that  i did this all on purpose and enjoy the music and study Matthew.

maybe all those people staring at me are just jealous because i get a plant at my table and they don?t.

this is learning to be comfortable in my own skin.  

chuckling at the whole thing.

and enjoying the day anyway.

things provided: meeting me right here

Written by:admin
Published on October 16th, 2013 @ 08:24:00 pm , using 593 words, 951 views

 walking in the door-the events of the morning and the message on the phone lingering.

i fall to my knees without words.

and He speaks the very word that names what i am feeling:

?May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13 (it can be sung to the tune of ?do your ears hang low? that?s how it got filed away in my head and how it always returns.)

ahh, there is such a connection between hope and joy.  You alone are my hope.  that?s what my dear friend answered me when i asked her; ?how do you hang onto hope??

You are the God of hope, You are the one who fills to overflowing-You are power-ful.

finding myself driven by my great need to shut the door of my room and hide away with my Shepherd for a bit.

remembering His words;

blessed are the poor in Spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.  blessed are those who morn, for they will be comforted.

You Lord have promised comfort.

up on my wall is this:

?if i say my foot is slipping, your faithful love will support me, Lord.  when i am filled with cares, Your comfort brings me joy.? (psalm 94:18-19)

His comfort....a pathway to joy

and i sit with Him.  i play the music.  close my eyes and listen to the words wash over me.


and this:

and i let the tears fall.  over what is. 
                                             out there.
                              and what is.
                                        inside my very heart.

i know full well of the plentiful harvest and the few workers.  i know full well my lack.  i know full well the grief sin keeps causing.  and the temptations to believe lies, all kinds of lies.  

one of the gifts He has given thus far today is solitude here in my room.  to weep with Him, to sit and breathe and wait on Him. 

and He meets me here, right where i am at.

Keep me safe, O God,
                for in You i take refuge.
i said to the LORD, ?You are my Lord;
                apart from You i have no good thing.?
As for the saints who are in the land,
                they are the glorious ones in whom is all my delight.
The sorrows of those will increase
                who run after other gods.
I will not pour out their libations of blood
                or take up their names on my lips.
Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup;
                You have made my lot secure.
The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
                surely i have a delightful inheritance.
i will praise the LORD who counsels me;
                even at night my heart instructs me.
i have set teh LORD always before me.
                Because He is at my right hand, i will not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
                my body also will rest secure,
because You will not abandon me to the grave,
                nor will you let your Holy One see decay.
You have made known to me the path of life;
                You will fill me with joy in Your presence,
                with eternal pleasures at Your right hand.  psalm 16


this is part of a 31 day series on Provision.  To see the first post in the series click here.  To read the entire series click here and read backwards (the first post is listed last, the latest post is listed first-i don't know how to change that. thank you for grace.)



things provided: a good story

Written by:admin
Published on October 15th, 2013 @ 11:34:00 pm , using 196 words, 838 views


i lost myself in a book today.  still with a sick one, so he sat on my lap watching Sesame Street (still not too old for Sesame Street-joy!)  and i read.  and i read and i read and i read. and i got to finish it! It was like a bonus to the gift of enjoyment of the new plan for my day.

Here?s my favorite quote from the book:

?Everyone needs to be transformed, to forget one?s woes, if only for an evening,? Henry Ray said.  ?That?s what the theater does.  And so they leave refreshed, the lowly and the royal, refitted to perform their tasks anew.  It is the essence of art.? (p.338 of What Once We Loved by Jane Kirkpatrick)

the gift of story. 

art provided against the woe?s of life.

if only for a moment.

it?s one of my favorite provisions.

this is part of a 31 day series on Provision.  To see the first post in the series click here.  To read the entire series click here and read backwards (the first post is listed last, the latest post is listed first-i don't know how to change that. thank you for grace.)

things provided: power to enjoy

Written by:admin
Published on October 14th, 2013 @ 11:20:00 pm , using 643 words, 629 views



?Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me.  Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.? Matthew 5:11

 ?Now is your time of grief, but i will see you again and you will rejoice and no one will take away your joy.? John 16: 22

"rejoice in the Lord always.  i will say it again rejoice!" Philippians 4:

 ?in all things give thanks for this is God?s will for you in Christ Jesus? 1 thess 5:18

i would read these passages, and approach them from the place i think Zechariah was when the angel told him Elizabeth would be pregnant.  ?you did not believe my words.? was Gabriel?s charge to him.  (see Luke 1)

i honestly read over the words and dismissed them.

but i wanted to believe them.  The Lord?s been working a change in me: 

now, reading these words i'm hearing Mary?s response to Gabriel:  ?How can this be?  since I am a virgin??

that is becoming my response to Joy- ?How can this be?  Since i am a human??

i believe You now Lord, but i don?t understand.

He has been showing me that the power to enjoy is something that is given by Him, by the Holy Spirit living within.

that nothing shall be impossible with Him.

and my response is becoming; ?May it be to me as you have said.?

today-this very day.


i?ve been working through this specifically since Saturday. Saturday i was misunderstood at Bible Study.  and it was the drive home that He and i had the above conversation. 

and then more practice came.

i ran errands with a friend who had a pass from treatment for errands.  i got to see firsthand the Lord?s victory in the battle to return to treatment.  i was still rejoicing in His victory when the call came that actually, it was only a temporary win and she was now leaving treatment.  and i said no to help her do so. 

and i was agitated and frustrated and we had planned to go out to dinner to celebrate my daughter?s cross country season.  and i knew-i needed His power to enjoy the evening with my family.  so i was (yet again) driven to my knees (hence the post from Saturday) and He did it.  i took a walk, and He spoke truth to my heart about what happenned at Bible Study and the other events of the day.  He enabled me to return and focus in on my family present and enjoy their company and the evening out. i felt joy within.  i felt it!

today, yet again, i am faced with the need for the provision of joy.  my son is home sick.  sickness often comes to rob and steal as the thief that it is. 

because i find myself so often thinking that if only we wouldn?t get sick so much, and if only our budget could stretch a little more and we could have a toilet up in our cabin, and if only i could change this or that about my house to make it function better....then i could enjoy this day, my cabin, my home, etc....


The Joy Giver, the Author and Perfecter of my faith has said:

?and you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you.?

therefore, i respond:

?i am the Lord?s servant, may it be to me as you have said.?

Provide this one with Your Power to enjoy...today.

this is part of a 31 day series on Provision.  To see the first post in the series click here.  To read the entire series click here and read backwards (the first post is listed last, the latest post is listed first-i don't know how to change that. thank you for grace.)

31 days on provision: a prayer

Written by:admin
Published on October 13th, 2013 @ 11:59:00 pm , using 58 words, 687 views


 When you find yourself driven to your knees, may you find the arms of a Savior who comforts like no other.  May your heart rest in the security that nothing can seperate you from His love.  May He grant you music for your very soul and provision for all that this day holds.  How great is His faithfulness!

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