"I am guiding you in the way of wisdom, and I am leading you on the right path." proverbs 4:11

Category: "Journal Entry"


Written by:admin
Published on January 28th, 2013 @ 01:10:00 pm , using 197 words, 1083 views

?You say....you want.....diamonds in a ring of gold
you say....you want....your story to remain untold
your love not to grow cold.
all the promises we make, from the cradle to the grave
when all......I want.....is you.?



Bono?s deep voice rings out the lyrics in my head.  they come, not as intended by him i think.  i?ve been ungrateful.  i?ve wanted all these things mentioned.  at least a variation of them. 

i read of others.  who?ve sold out.  who?ve been radical. 

and i speak to myself-?you?ve not got what it takes to follow hard-to follow that far.?

the cost.

my wants.

the guitar and base play the interlude. 

when all He wants is me.  

i feel like i?m in that interlude.  that place of waiting-wondering.  how will the story be written?  who will write it?  the tension, the longing for the adventure worth fighting, the redemption winning.

yet not really. it grieves me to admit it, but it is true.  my heart is fickle, and the little gods still need taken down.  so many still to take down.

the interlude is playing in my heart and the One who gave all for love of this heart-He waits. 

                for all
       He wants
is me.


Written by:admin
Published on January 19th, 2013 @ 05:49:00 pm , using 201 words, 529 views
Posted in Journal Entry

She?s come home.  But she doesn?t know it yet.  she paces, she cries, she scratches to get out and go back to where she came from.  not only does she not know this place, she does not know us.  so she does not know yet that she is safe and loved.......

 and home.

 she didn?t ask for this today.  she doesn?t know how good it will be.  she had gotten used to her foster home.  she had gotten used to their smells, their routine, their noises.  she doesn?t know this.  today started out like any other.  it even included a bonus-car ride!  But then, then it's a new car and the ones she knows left and here she is with these new people.  she likes these new people, but where did her old people go? 

After about 3 hours, she settles enough to lay down.  eventually she settles enough to rest her head.  finally, she follows me into my room, i sit at my desk, and she settles herself onto my bed ...... and sleeps. 


Welcome home Lady.  we will love you well.

 When has your day/life been interrupted-only to discover later that what you were given was better than you dared imagine?

Weighed and Found Wanting

Written by:admin
Published on January 10th, 2013 @ 09:58:00 pm , using 289 words, 463 views

?You?ve been weighed on the scales and found wanting.?  (some translations read deficient)

 This was quoted in the movie ?A Knight?s Tale?, but even before that, to King Belshazzar in Daniel 5.

 We?ve been undergoing a bit of analysis lately.

~There was the dog rescue organization who conducted 3 interviews with references and performed a home visit.
~there was the police officer on the road headed up to our cabin
~There was the building inspector-inspecting the cabin for completion of the permit.

found wanting as fit dog owners
found wanting as responsible/safe drivers
found wanting as competent builders.

to be fair, the rescue organization did approve us-so we weren?t too wanting.  the police officer was lenient (dropped ticket from 15 over the limit to 9, even after i gave him the registration for our camper rather than the car and an insurance card that is 2 months expired).  the building inspector returned for a second inspection and did finally pass us.

amongst all this ?analysis? i find myself frustrated.  but the more i thought of it, the more i realized that constantly i am being weighed on someone?s scale-and consistently i am found wanting.  and even if i did actually move to Alaska far removed from all civilization, i would be left with myself.  i?m always measuring myself-and you got it, wanting/deficient. 

and the choice ever before me is what am i going to believe.  who?s assessment is entirely accurate? 

The One who actually KNOWS-He?s weighed me.  He?s not denied that i come up wanting, but He has declared that i?m worth it. 

worth suffering for
worth emptying Himself for
worth dying for
worth living for
worth helping
worth loving
worth pursuing
worth furiously longing for
worth finding
worth loving


i?ve been weighed on the scales, and been found worth it.

 i think i?ll listen to Him.

Grief, the Grinch, and Christmas Eve

Written by:admin
Published on December 24th, 2012 @ 12:50:00 pm , using 923 words, 362 views

?When Job?s three friends....heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him.  When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads.  Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights.  No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.?  (Job 2:11-13)

 This is such a beautiful picture-and the only thing these friends did right.  once they open their mouths, they increase Job?s suffering, rather than add comfort.  so often words are not needed when grieving.  words are our attempt to make some sense out of it, some lesson, some platitude.  anyone who has experienced deep deep grief would agree i think. 

 so i?ve been silent these days.  i?ve been at a loss for words.  there is no sense to be made, no lessons really.  just grief. 

 and so much that is going wrong.  parents are without children.  wives are without their husbands.  families are without a home. 

 and it?s Christmas.  the time we celebrate the Long Awaited One who has been sent.  the One who emptied Himself of all but Love.  The carols play, Joy to the World, the Lord has come, let earth receive her King.  The thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices.? 

 But what about when it seems like the King isn?t the one ruling this earth?  what about when the weary ones cannot find rejoicing.  what then?

 And these groanings-this earth groaning-this heart groaning.  groanings that only the Holy Spirit can translate.  i am so thankful that He translates the groanings into words that i can?t find. 


 As we sit and watch an old favorite, one that i memorized for school back in the third grade:

 ?Every Who down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot;

but the Grinch who lived north of Whoville, he did not.?


?Christmas it came, it came without boxes, it came without trappings.....

it came without tinsel, it came without wrappings....

 Christmas it came, it came just the same.?



 (i did that all from memory-no offence intended to the author by my mistakes)

Christmas it came, it came just the same.

 and i took those words in.  i?ve seem similar ones in that Book of all books;

?...If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king.  But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods of worship the image of gold you have set up.?  (dan 3:17-18)

 ?i heard and my heart pounded, my lips quivered at the sound; decay crept into my bones, and my legs trembled.

Yet i will wait patiently for the day of calamity to come on the nation invading us. (on this evil invading us)

Though the fig tree does not bud adn there are no grapes on the vines,

though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food,

though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls

yet i will rejoice in the LORD,

i will be joyful in God my Savior.? (hab 3)

 ?A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world.  So it is with you; Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.  In that day you will no longer ask me anything.? (john 16)


Even if He does not.....yet i will rejoice....But I will see you again and you will rejoice-

and no one will take away your joy.

 you will not longer ask.

i will be without words-only this time because of joy, and not grief.

 and so the song that struck me (there is always one) at the beginning of December-the words that caused me to stop in my tracks and listen.

?We are waiting.....we have not forgotten.?

and so i pray...

Thou lovely Source of true delight,
Whom i unseen adore;
Unveil Thy beauties to my sight,
That i might love Thee more.
Thy glory o?er creation shines;
But in Thy sacred Word,
i read in fairer, brighter lines,
my bleeding, dying Lord.
?Tis here, whene?re my comforts droop,
and sins and sorrows rise,
Thy love with cheerful beams of home,
My fainting heart supplies.
Jesus my Lord, my Life, my Light,
O come with blissful ray;
Break rediant through the shades of night,
and chase my fears away.

  i am waiting, i have not forgotten.  you have said, no one will be able to take away my joy.  oh my Lord, restore to me the joy of Your Salvation, and grant me a willing spirit to sustain mequiet me with Your loveBe my Strength, oh Sovereign Lord, make my feet like the feet of a deer, enabling me to go on the heights.  and when i say my foot is slipping, support me with Your faithful Love.  in the multitude of my anxious thoughts within me, cheer my soul with Your comfort

 Your comfort-that comes with words.  the perfect words.  the joy-filled words.  Oh Lord, You are the only one who can speak into grief-

 and restore joy.

 Joy to the World, the Lord HAS come. 

Anchored by Hope

Written by:admin
Published on December 8th, 2012 @ 02:47:00 pm , using 335 words, 1154 views

 I said, "Let me walk in the field."
God said, "No, walk in the town."
I said, "There are no flowers there."
He said, "No flowers, but a crown."

I said, "But the sky is black,
There is nothing but noise and din.
"He wept as He sent me back,
"There is more," He said, "there is sin."

I said, "But the air is thick
And fogs are veiling the sun."
He answered, "But souls are sick,
Souls in the darkness undone."

I said, "I will miss the light,
And my friends will miss me, they say."
He answered, "Choose tonight,
If I am to miss you, or they."

I pleaded for time to be given.
He said, "Is it hard to decide?
It will not seem hard in heaven
To have followed the steps of your Guide."

I cast one look at the field,
Then set my face to the town.
He said, "My child, do you yield?
Will you leave the flowers for a crown?"

Then into His hand went mine,
And into my heart came He.
Now I walk with a light Divine,
The path I had feared to see.

(George MacDonald)



17 Accordingly God also, in His desire to show more convincingly and beyond doubt to those who were to inherit the promise the unchangeableness of His purpose and plan, intervened (mediated) with an oath.

 18 This was so that, by two unchangeable things [His promise and His oath] in which it is impossible for God ever to prove false or deceive us, we who have fled [to Him] for refuge might have mighty indwelling strength and strong encouragement to grasp and hold fast the hope appointed for us and set before [us].

 19 [Now] we have this [hope] as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul [it cannot slip and it cannot break down under whoever steps out upon it?a hope] that reaches farther and enters into [the very certainty of the Presence] within the veil,

 20 Where Jesus has entered in for us [in advance], a Forerunner having become a High Priest forever after the order (with the rank) of Melchizedek.

 Hebrews 6:17-20  (AMP)

<< 1 ... 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 >>