And One Year Later......

I wanted to reflect on how this trip has marked me-what is the new normal since this time last year:

 

 -i learned to trust in the joy in having obeyed, not in results (or lack of them) in the outcome of that obedience.

- i learned that i don?t truly know what would be a delight to my heart, but my God does and so i can trust Him to direct my life in that direction.  The song ?Your love? by Brandon heath became my theme for that trip (it really is all i have to give)-and one of the lines says ?i?m running out of dreams?  not because it?s wrong to dream-but because i?m learning in a practical way that ?Since ancient times no one has heard,
   no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him."
i used to think that my ?dream come true? would be to move my family to Africa to serve with Rafiki-it was my dream for over 10 years.  But now, i am content to be where-ever, doing whatever -knowing that God?s choice is what will truly be a delight to my heart and satisfaction to my soul. 

   - i learned to trust that the heart stirrings that come are from God, of God, and to be used by God for His purpose and timing. He put that love for Africa in my heart and the desire for Rafiki- i still marvel at the lengths He went to orchestrate details to communicate His love to a handful of folks.  But when i think about the lengths He went to to reconcile Himself to me-why would i marvel?  There are new stirrings growing in my heart-in new directions-but i can trust the One who is the keeper of my heart and knows everything!

-  i learned that there was definitely not enough gut-level laughter in my life or in my home! 

 

but most of all i must quote David Crowder to summarize the bulk of how i am different; ?i don?t have time to maintain these regrets when i think about the way that He loves me.?  The He being Jesus, my Messiah, my Savior, my King, my Peace, my Love. 

What was made for me at the tailer...

What was made for me at the tailer...

i am still sorting thru all my pictures one free moment at a time.  it is a bit frustrating the lack of free moments....and my lack of discipline when some of the free moments do come.  Anyway, here is the picture of the matching dresses sweet and most talented Gertrude made for me.  For Hannah's all i did was point out a girl about her size and asked her to do what she could with whatever fabric was left after mine.  I modeled my dress after one of the Mama's on the Rafiki village-Mama Robina.  She is very elegant and stylish-i don't quite carry that elegance in my dress, at least not when i look in the mirror and remember how light my skin really is!  It is funny that most of my growing up days i longed for beautiful dark skin like the African people.  No matter what God gives us-we seem to want what He used to put someone else together. 

 

i hope Hannah will not grow too quickly so we can wear our dresses for a long time!

 

Next post i hope to share the creativity the Ugandan people have to transport things via bicycles, boda bodas (motercycles) or when all else fails, use your head!

Upside Down

"Remember this trip to Africa was a love gift"  i keep forgetting.  My world has been turned upside down.  Has your world ever been turned upside down and then you have to figure out now how to function?  The arrival of each of my children did that.  They each were love gifts from my God as well.  Slowly slowly life takes on a new normal.   New things i never thought about before suddenly become noticeable.    Old things that used to seem so important loose ground to a new perspective.  It?s good to remember that.  Because at times, even with the arrival of my children, i can find myself wondering ?what was i thinking-I really can?t do this, What was God thinking, did He really make the right choice in trusting me with this??  ?But God made the earth by his power; he founded the world by his wisdom and stretched out the heavens by his understanding.?  And as with each child added to my nest and each other time my world has been turned upside down; I know better my ?Lord?s love, His heart; Who comes to soothe my sorrows, my fears?, and to wean me of this world.  I have learned along the way with each ?this?  that comes:  it is real Wisdom to trust me with it, real Power that enables me for it, and real Understanding that it is exactly what my heart longed for, what my prayer asked for. 

 

And so ?this? too rests in the Wisdom and Power and Understanding of my very faithful God.

Adjusting...

Still have plans to post photos and highlights from my trip.  Today i am still adjusting to being back home.  Today the Word for me from my still able Father was this:

 Love never fails.

 

Looked up never and fails in the dictionary: 

    Never = not ever; at no time; not at all; absolutely not; to no extent or degree

    Fails = to fall short of success or achievement in something expected, attempted, desired, or approved; to be or become deficient or lacking; be insufficient or absent; fall short.

 

Not ever does love fall short of success.  Not ever is love a lacking or insufficient responce. 

Not ever.

 

Job 37 reads: "God?s voice thunders in marvelous ways; he does great things beyond our understanding."

Psalm 147:11 the LORD delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love. 

There is so much beyond my understanding.  My hope is only in my God's love to not fail.  It is much noisier here-it is not as easy to hear my Savior's voice thru all the noise as it was when my surroundings were much quieter.  I am thankful that His voice will thunder in marvelous ways, breaking thru to me.  I am thankful that His love will not fail.  not here.  not in Uganda.  not anywhere.

 Nothing is the same.   Everything is different.  Change is not an easy thing.  My God's love is constant-and it is enough. 

 

worship

worship

James 1:27 "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress "

 

That is the verse that came to me today while i was sitting in a church in Wakiso town.  The service was in Lugandan-with an english interpreter.  During the service a number of children were peeking thru the wooden boards-all we could see were their eyes-it was precious.  3 little ones came in and stood in front of Kelly and i.  we held their hands for a bit.  then 2 of them leaned in to us.  soon after they were both asleep.  Kelly and i pulled them up on our laps where they both slept for the remainder of the service. The photo is of their hands on my knee when they first entered. 

 

i have never experienced worship in it's most beautiful form as this.

 

hope to write more-must go listen now to Cricket play her accordian for the residence hall boys!  We will be singing hymns.  Two of my most favorite things, starting the day with a young one on my lap.  Ending the day singing Hymns.  Cricket and her accordian is the icing on this most delicious cake of a Sabbath. 

 

My God is an Amazing God.